


Lackluster Luck

by RulerOfTheSevenSeas



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: And more to be deleted, Atlas!Rhys - Freeform, Borderlands: Tales from the Borderlands, Gotta finish the Zer0 face concepts, Haiku's are going to be everywhere, I'm not writing from Fiona's perspective lol sorry I'm in it for Rhys, M/M, NaNoWriMo 2017, Neutral/GoodRoute, Rewrite, Shenanigans, Thats kinda cannon though right, Zerhys - Freeform, alien stuff, more tags to come, telltale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-28 09:54:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12603964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RulerOfTheSevenSeas/pseuds/RulerOfTheSevenSeas
Summary: After being thoroughly screwed out of a long-coming promotion, Hyperion techie and local dumbass Rhys wastes ten million (stolen) dollars on a fake vault key. But his screw up might not all be in vain as he and his ragtag friends get involved in the Gortys Project and may just have a way to find a vault after all. Pandora, however, is not a forgiving place and Vault Hunters, Bandits, and Vallory are hot on their tail.OR:A rewrite of Tales From The Borderlands and then some.





	1. Chapter One: Zer0 Sum.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Zerhys shippers in its lacking content.](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Zerhys+shippers+in+its+lacking+content.).



> My written contribution to Zerhys and NaNoWriMO.  
> For art and other shenanigans, Follow me at my Tumblr/Insta/Twitter/whatever. @Zitrusschale.  
> I post my art more consistently on my Instagram but I'm more active on Tumblr.  
> Send me a message or whatever if you want!

The clicking of Skag-Skin boots on linoleum echoed around the hallway. Rhythmic in pace, followed by a softer tap-tap-tap as Vaughn walked in stride with Rhys. The hallways of Helios were empty that morning as they leisurely stode to their branch manager’s office in respectable silence, both too eager to really speak their mind. Rhys walked with a confident swagger, smirk on his face and a sort of pompous air about him. He had no doubt at what awaited him behind those doors. Come that evening, he would be a changed man. 

They passed large arching windows, thick glass separating them from space and showcasing the hazy purple view of Pandora. From up here, the planet almost seemed calm, as if miles and miles below the planet was not inhabitied by complete and utter psycos. Rhys stopped to look out for a moment, turning to the window and taking in the sight to let his thoughts wander. He was rather anxious about his promotion and yet it was so long coming that it was hard to believe he was really here. He pulled himself away after a short pause, turning his head to see Vaughn looking up at him. 

“So. What’s the first thing you’re going to buy with the money?” 

Ah, Vaughn. Always focusing on the important things. 

“I know what Henderson makes, I do his payroll. If you get even a fraction of what he makes, you’ll be rolling in it” Vaughn added as the pair resumed their pace, smirking up at Rhys. 

“Lets just...start with lunch.” Rhys spoke. “Don’t want to get too ahead of ourselves.”

“Well, then we are starting off with three of whatever is most expensive on the menu. And wine pairings.”

Rhys step faltered for a moment, eyebrow raising. “..For lunch?” 

Vaughn stopped a pace ahead and crossed his arms, smirk never leaving his face. “We’re gonna get twisted, bro. If i’m not puking up a thousand dollars in food and alcohol this evening then man are we doing it wrong.” He uncrossed his arms. “We’re meeting with Yvette afterwards to celebrate, she went ahead and made reservations.”

Rhys just smiled and shook his head and kept walking, coming to the end of the hallway with Vaughn right behind. 

“Well, this is it.” Rhys moved to go through the doors to Henderson’s office, slicking back any stray hairs with his metal arm. 

“Whoa, hold up, bro.” Vaughn reached out to stop him, facing Rhys and once more halting him. 

Oh great. A pep talk.

Rhys rolled his eyes though decided to humor his short friend and listen.

“We’ve done some horribly fucked up shit to get you to this point. Do I regret some of it? Yes. Will some of it haunt my dreams? Undoubtedly. But I’ll be damned if this promotion does not make it worth it. You deserve this, Rhys. Don’t ever think that you don’t.”

Rhys smiled at the words, honestly grateful for all that they had done together to get him above the competition. His robotic arm and EchO eye was something in and of itself but when it came to Hyperion, nothing was too shady or too horrid if it got you praise and recognition. And if you didn't get caught. That was key. A good asset is useless if it cant be reliable.

“Hey, this isn't my promotion, bro. It’s ours.” Rhys said in earnest. “I wouldn’t be here without you. One of us moves up, we all move up. Seriously. Thank you.”

Vaughn just smiled knowingly and lightly punched his best friend in the shoulder. “Alright, just don’t forget about us little guys once you’re a top dog. Now lets get that Hyperion face on.”

Rhys crossed his arms and sneered, tilting his head back to get that ‘holier than thou’ look. 

Vaughn was not impressed. 

“Hmmm, no. Needs more condescending.” he judged, squinting at him. 

Rhys turned the sneer into more of a pout, lowering his eyebrows. 

“Perfect. Now go get ‘em, tiger.” Vaughn ushered and practically shoved Rhys through the door. 

 

 

Rhys knew something was off the second the large metal doors whooshed open, something about the way the air hung silently in the room threw him off and he instantly dropped the look he was going for, suddently unsure after all the previous cockyness. 

Henderson sat behind his desk on the other side of the unessasarily large room, back facing Rhys and talking on the phone. His boss paused his conversation briefly to adress Rhys. 

“Have a seat.”

His voice was low, too low and vuagley husky. Not Henderson-ly at all and warning bells began going off in Rhys’s head as he walked over and sat in the chair parallell to Henderson’s. This wasn’t right.

His heart dropped as he got closer and connected the dots, reading the faceplate on the desk. The company man nearly choked as his jaw dropped in surprise. 

“Hugo?” Rhys almost exclaimed loudly, though managed to hush himself first, refusing to beleive his boss had been replaced with none other than his coworking rival Hugo Vasquez. Rhys felt like he was going to be sick, mood going from a ten to a zero in no time flat. 

“But I dont want it in red, I want it in black. Yeah. No, no I said black.” Vasquez swivvled his chair around and made eye contact with Rhys, also turning the holo-monitor to show Rhys he was ordering a company car. A fairly expensive one by the looks of it, too. The look on his face was downright smug as he gloated silently, raising an eyebrow at Rhys. 

“Yeah yeah, I gotta go. I’ve got someone here.” Vasquez promptly hung up on whoever was on the other line, pressing a button on his earpiece to end the call. 

“You look surprised, Rhys. And if i’m reading the situation right, and I usually am, you’re none too happy about it, either.” Vasquez relented, propping his feet up on the desk and smirking. Rhys thought he looked like a cat that just caught a particuarily tasty canary. Disgusting. 

Rhys wanted to scream. No, this was not how it was supposed to go at all. He was supposed to saunter in, talk to Henderson, get the promotion, and then celebrate a job well done. Vasquez was supposed to have absoloutley NO part in that. 

Fuck. 

Fuck! 

Rhys felt himeslf start to panic, though admitted silently that swallowing his pride and not making any snide remarks might get him through this sidetrack unscathed. As much as he absoloutey loathed Vasquez he wasnt about to compromise all the work he had already put in to get this far just over some petty rivalry. He forced himself to calm down enough to not let it show. 

“Where’s Henderson?” Rhys asked, trying to keep his voice level. Vasquez was like a shark. If he senced blood in the water, he’d bite. And blood, in this case, was panic. Weakness. Vulnerability. Rhys may have pulled some shady shit to get there but Vasquez wasn’t above half the shit Rhys refused to do. That man was as untrustworthy as a fox. 

“He, uh, stepped out.” Vasquez stated, taking his feet off the desk. Something about his tone hinted that that was not exactly the case. “You’re going to be reporting to me now, Rhys. And I want you to know the promotion that you worked so hard to get is still coming to you.”

For a second Rhys let himself feel hope, leaning back in the chair. “Well, that’s a releif. Cause thing is-”

Vasquez cut him and his hope short. “You wanna know the reson why im in that chair, and you’re not?” He taunted as he stood up and circled the desk. “For the exact same reason why North is North. Why the handsome guy always gets the girl. And why every spacecraft is shaped like a giant cock.”

He paused for dramatic effect as he sat on the desk and raised his leg. Rhys crossed his arms in annoyance, already sick of hearing his voice and irritated at being cut off. 

“It’s destiny, Rhys. Men like me make their own.” Vasquez got up and turned with his back to Rhys, hands folded as he stared out the window. Why do the assholes always get the best view? 

“You can hold a grudge if you like, no harm no foul. Your opinions are your own.” 

He slowly turned to face Rhys again. “....But bad things can happen when you swim against fate. Sometimes you find yourself in the way of another mans destiny.” 

The words had no sooner left Vasquez’s mouth when movement made Rhys turn his attention to the window behind his new boss. Outside the glass a foot floated into view. Soon followed by high tailored pants and a leg as the body of Henderson floated past the window. An arm outstretched and mouth and eyes wide, face immortalized in fear by the reality of space, his skin grey and pale in death. 

Rhys sucked in a breath, astonished. Not that this sort of thing diddnt happen, no. People get thrown out of airducts all the time on Helios. Hell, back when Handsome Jack was still running the joint people used to ger promoted for it. But Vasquez? Killing Henderson? He supposed it wasnt so far fetched, the man was more slippery than an eel. But Rhys just never was it coming. Years of sucking up to the man, out the window.

He slowly uncrossed his arms, finding himself again letting his jaw go slack as he gaped at the body of his former boss. 

“Wow, I really could NOT have timed that better, that really helps dramatically make my point.” Vasquez laughed as he saw what, or rather who, Rhys was gaping at. 

“...Which is this. This new...promotion is going to put you out of the way. On your own path, so to speak.” 

As Vasquez talked he slowly, tauntingly slowly, walked back to the table until he was back at his chair, though he did not sit. He stared down Rhys, who still had a dumbfounded expression on his face, his mind blank as he took in what Vasquez was taunting him with. 

“And that my friend, is why I am promoting YOU to-” 

It was Vasquez’s turn to be cut off by the phone ringing. He answered it on speaker with an annoyed snap. 

“Larry! How come my new car isn’t digi-structed in my office yet?” he snapped, bossiness in his tone though it was obvious he was doing it for show to one-up Rhys. Or maybe he was just an ass. 

An unfamiliar voice answered on the other line. 

“Vasquez? Its August. Are you buying this Vault Key or not?”

At his words Vasquez panicked and hurridley took the call off speaker, transfering it to his earpeice. 

Rhys had yet another reason to let his jaw drop, though he hurridley realized himself and recomposed, gathering his thoughts as he listened in on the call. 

Holy shit.

ASS-quez killed Henderson. Took his job. Set up a deal to get a VAULT KEY. And is now terrorizng Rhys with his job that he worked so hard to climb the ranks in. He mentally scoffed. Obviously not hard enough if Vasquez could do all this in a morning. Rhys couldn’t beleive his huge change in luck from getting a promotion to possibly loosing everything so quickly. 

Though he refused to let himself pout yet. There was still a chance that Vasquez would spare him his dignity. He sat back in the chair, crossing his arms once more as he observed Vasquez.

“Yes, yes im near a computer. Hold up.” Vasquez spoke, jet black hair falling in his face as it came unslicked. He turned the holo-monitor around from where it was facing Rhys and began furiously typing. When he found what he was looking for he seemed to get increasingly frusterated and stepped back from the monitor, annoyed. The arrogant man tried to keep his voice hushed though didn’t manage it that well. 

“Ten million dollars is a lot of money, im going to need another hour or two.” he angrily whispered into the phone as he once more pulled away from the desk, angrily chipping his teeth at who Rhys presumed to be August. 

The name was not familiar in the slightest, neither was the voice from what little snippits Rhys could overhear. In Rhys’s line of work he would know anyone that high up to have a Vault Key in their posession by name. So he came to the quick conclusion he was some sort of Pandorian, most likeley a Bandit or a Raider. 

His curiosity getting the best of him, Rhys slyly tried to lean over and turn the monitor to get a look at what Vasquez was planning while he was distracted. He had one thing on his mind: Blackmail. If this douchebag was going to wipe away years of work in one morning then he was going to be sure he damn well paid for it. In the litteral or figurative sence, Rhys found that he diddnt quite care that much. 

His luck, it seemed, was not quite done shitting all over him. As soon as Rhys reached an arm out his new boss turned and caught him trying to sneak a peak, though in a move more smooth than Rhys could have hoped to pull off he brought his outstretched hand back up to his hair, pretending to smooth it back into place as if that was his intent all along. Vasquez glared but said nothing as he continued arguing with whoever was on the line. 

Rhys had another trick up his sleeve, however, and he wasn’t backing down that easily. He blinked, his EchO Eye lighting up a bright light blue as he activated the scanner, smirking. Oh no, he was not backing down. Rhys directed his attention back to the computer as he scanned the files from the other side of the desk, sending them to his robotic arm’s hand projector to view them. He deactivated his EchO Eye, decrypting and running RhysHacks.EXE on Vasquez’s files. Before Vasquez could turn around and catch on he had the full scanned files of the Vault Key, in all its odd, alien glory. Apparently Vasquez had arranged to meet August in a small Pandorian tourist shop on the North West coast that day. 

Quite the ballsy move for someone who just got power in his hands. 

Rhys saved the rest of the information for later use and reading as it seemed Vasquez was wrapping up his conversation. 

“Well, its a tourist shop, isn’t it? Buy a mug or something. I’ll touch down in a bit, just give me time.” And with that he ended the call, turning back to Rhys with frusteration clear on his face. 

“Sorry about that….inconvenience.” he all but sneered at Rhys, not yet taking a seat. “Where were we?”

“You were lecturing me.” Rhys stated flatly, his annoyance with Vasquez finally making its way into his voice as he loathed his new superior. 

Vasquez frowned. “Right.” he uttered under his breath as he stepped closer to Rhys, looming over him. 

“Henderson was a fool. He diddnt know his place. He needed a lesson…in humility. The same lesson in which I hope to project unto you. Which is why I am promoting you to Chief Executive..”

Rhys held his breath, hoping for the best. 

“...Janitor.”

He got the worst. 

Rhys shook his head in disbeleif. “No. No, no, no you can’t do this to me. Not after everything I’ve done!” He pleaded, desperation clear in his voice as he stood, his blood running cold as he couldnt beleive what he was hearing. Out of all the possiblely bad outcomes this was by far not what he was expecting, hell he would have pegged himself getting switched into litterally any other field before being demoted to janitor. Chief Executive his ass. 

Vasquez still towered over him, Rhys glaring daggers into the taller man as he stood, both men being tall but Vasquez must have been wearing his heels it seemed. 

Vasquez sneered. “You need to learn your place.” 

And with that he pulled his arm back, punching Rhys square in the nose, the momentum and shock from it knocking him to the ground. Pain seared though his face as Rhys brought his hands up to his nose, blood smearing on his fingertips. 

Fuck. 

Demoted and a broken nose. Probobly bruised hip from the fall, too. Add that to the list of shit that just went down hill. 

Rhys’ pain quickly turned to anger as he arose to his feet, feeling the blood dripping from his nostrils and down his face, his whole face feeling hot in both anger and pain. He made a fist though before he thought it though better and instead pointed a robotic finger at Vasquez. Dont piss off a guy any more than you have to if he can call security and have you killed on a mere whim. 

“You,” he threatened. “You wont get away with this.”

Vasquez laughed. 

“I’m the boss, Rhys. I get away with whatever the hell I want. Now get the fuck out of my office before I shit on the floor and make you clean it up.” 

Rhys glarred at Vasquez for a moment longer, before the pain in his nose got too distracting and he backed down, letting silence fill the air as he turned and briskly walked out, far too angry to form a coherent last retort. All thoughts of the Vault Key forgotten momentarily. 

 

 

“Oh and Rhysie? Wipe my ass while you’re at it, wont you?” Vasquez taunted, laughing before the big metal doors shut behind Rhys. 

Vaughn was waiting for him out in the hall, having been evesdropping and just as astonished as Rhys. 

“H-He can’t just do this to us!” Vaughn gaped, walking up to Rhys, though he quickly changed tone at the sight or his best friends nose. 

“Oooh shit, that looks bad.” he sucked in a breath in pity, reaching out a hand as if to offer support before Rhys waved him off.

“I’ll be fine. Had worse.” he said in earnest, gesturing to his prosthetic arm and eye. Still, even at the truth of his own words it hurt like a bitch. 

Rhys turned away from the door to Vasquez’s new office, going back the way they came in from, hoping walking would distract him from the pain blooming in his face. Blood was starting to drip down his lips and onto his chin. Rhys raised his organic arm and brushed away some of the blood on his shirt cuff, smeering the blue with red. 

“Dude, you should have used your tie.” Vaughn mumbled, walking next to him. 

“Yeah, thanks for the advice.” Rhys snapped. 

They both walked in silence for a minute, gathering their respective thoughts.

Rhys was beyond angry. He was so tired of being shit on so much, finally when he had a good thing to look forward to it had to be ripped right out of his fingers, having been so close to his goal hurt all that much more. And Vasquez! How could someone as brutish as Vasquez get so entangled on the social hierarchy so easily? 

Rhys let his frusteration get the best of him and he kicked a garbage can in the hallway as they passed it, though his mood got impossibley worse. 

Over the intercom a voice rang out: “Janitor Rhys to Sector B, Isle A for trash clean up. Because that is your job now. You pick up trash with your bare hands.” 

Rhys was so angry he could scream.

So he did. 

 

 

“Rhys, why are you picking up trash?” Yvette asked, joining up with the pair moments later, arms crossed. She raised an eyebrow at the blood smeared on his face though said nothing elce. 

Rhys glared at her, fueled by rage. “ASS-quez screwed me out of the promotion.” He balled up his fists and kept walking, not bothering to pick up the garbage that spilled on the floor. 

“Oh….shit.” Yvette murmured, turning and following him. “Rhys thats…horrible” Her words were sympathetic but the tone suggested that she could care less.

Her attention on Rhys was all but short lived though. “So, does that mean you’re not buying?”

“Yvette, can you not be a lunch mooch for a single minute? We just had all of our work swept away from under our feet! At least pretend to care.” Vaughn snapped at her, glaring. 

She put her gands up defencively, grumbling. “Just trying to lighten the mood….Though I am famished.” she added under her breath. 

“We should throw HIM out of an airlock. Good, old fashioned blackmail, the way mama taught me.” Vaughn interjected, catching up to Rhys and ignoring Yvette’s snide comment. 

At the mention of Blackmail, Rhys's steps slowed until stopped dead in his tracks, muttering “Thats...thats it…”

“Wait, Really? Rhys, you cant possibly think I was serious, neither of us have the balls nor the muscle to toss someone out a airlock for christs sake, look at us. We’d just end up space popsic-”

“We steal his deal.” Rhys interupted, turning to face both of his friends, tone low and serious. His eyes were narrowed and his nose had stopped bleeding though at the moment he could hardly call that a victory. 

It earned him a confused look from Yvette and a very excited nod of approval from Vaughn. "oooh hell yes!" Vaughn agreed. 

Rhys brought his robotic arm facing palm up, flashing the Vault Key plans on his hand projector. 

“We steal his deal.”


	2. Zer0 Sum: Continued

“Rhys, you understand that you are not only stealing from the biggest and deadliest company this galaxy has ever known, but you’re also planning to steal a vault key from your boss that happens to be on Pandora?” Yvette chided, gaping at Rhys. Her hands were on her narrow hips as she spoke, glaring at him. “This doesn't speak ‘Suicide Mission’ to you at all?”

Rhys sat on the edge of the hallway bench, dried and crusty blood on his lower face once more from having set his nose. It had started to bruise up and still hurt like a bitch. Oooh, he'd be getting Vasquez back for this. He sighed, exasperated with his head in his hands as he rubbed his temple. 

“Yvette, we don’t have much time. Vasquez is planning to land down in a few hours. We’ll figure out the particulars later if problems arise but it sounds simple enough. Get the money, a car, get the key, get back up. If we’re lucky Vasquez won’t even notice we’re gone.” Rhys explained, patience wearing thin from having to re-hash the plan with her for a second time. 

“This is crazy. You’ll never pull it off. You’ve never even been to Pandora before, how do you think you’re going to stay alive down there? The whole planet is crawling with shit that would rather kill you than pass your sorry ass on the road!” Yvette retorted.

“Today literally can't get any worse. If it will get us back on track to running this company, i’d say it’s worth a shot.”

Yvette huffed loudly. 

“Fine. Good luck dying then.” she snapped before turning to leave. 

“Whoah whoah, wait.” Rhys stood, grabbing onto her sleeve to stop her. She turned back around to face him. 

“Rhys, you’re my friend. But there is no way in hell I am joining you. I like life, thanks.” She ripped her sleeve from his grip. 

Vaughn interjected. “So that’s it then? You’d just let Rhys be a janitor?” he shook his head. 

Rhys gestured a lot with his hands as he spoke. “No, no i’m not saying you need to join us. We need someone here to send a Loader-Bot down if shit goes off the rails and to cover for us.”

They both paused for a moment. Vaughn watched them in silence. 

“Rhys…” Yvette began before Rhys cut her off again. 

“C’mon. I’ll buy you that lunch I owe you..” He persuaded, raising his eyebrows up in hope. If there was even a small chance that they were going to make it through this, they would need Yvette's’ help or they’d be beyond screwed.

After another few long moments of silence, Yvette sighed, giving in. She seemed to not have it in her to argue anymore; even if the bad outweighed the good by a longshot.

“Fine. But you better make it back alive.” she warned. 

Rhys smiled. “Great! Trust me, when we come back with a vault key, you won’t regret it.” It was hard to hide the eagerness in his voice.

Yvette waved him off. “Yeah, yeah. You owe me, though.” She sighed. 

“Vaughn, can you get us the money?” Rhys asked, turning to his friend. He was skeptical of Yvette truly being on board for this, though at least relieved she agreed to help get them down there at the least. If she bailed, Hyperion would still pay big bucks to get their hands on a key. If he and Vaughn had it they were pretty much guaranteed a promotion and then some. Well, at least Vaughn was all in. He couldn't imagine doing this without his best friend. 

Vaughn scoffed. 

“Hold please.” He turned his head away, pressing the pad of his index finger on the side of his glasses. The glass frames reflected a green $10,000,000,00. as he completed the transaction. 

“Done.”

Rhys raised an eyebrow. “...I’m not going to lie. That was impressive.” He complimented. 

“Pff, I’m in accounting. It’s what I do. Ten million dollars is chump change around here. By the time they notice it’s missing, we will have a vault key on our hands.” Vaughn waved him off. 

“Okay. Vaughn, you go grab the money. Yvette and I will get a car and clearance for travel. Meet us at the loading docks in twenty minutes.” Rhys planned, the whole charade coming together in his head. This just might work. Hopefully. 

Yvette nodded. “I can get you a Hyperion standard town car and a Loader for if things go south.” She added. “Though if I send one down for you, you better not return without that key. Those bots are almost as expensive as this key, don't think that management would let ‘loosing’ one slide.” she did the finger quotes.

“Wait, if we’re doing this why can’t we spring for, you know, something a bit more fancy.” Vaughn interjected. “Like a convertible or something?” 

Yvette rolled her eyes as Rhys held back a chuckle. 

“So, let me get this straight: You want a car that will leave you LESS protected?” She argued. 

Vaughn pouted. “...It was just a suggestion.” he mumbled. 

Rhys thought back to his conversation with Vasquez. 

“Oh, don't worry. I have a car in mind.”

 

 

As it turns out, being moonshot out of Helios at subsonic speed and into the atmosphere of Pandora was not as smooth as you’d think. Even in a car encased in a EDL shell frame, the drag of entry caused both men to bounce in their seats from the sheer force and speed of it all. Sure, both Rhys and Vaughn had space traveled before but not having any similar experience to this as they had not been breaching a planet's atmosphere in a case-enclosed car. 

Breaching the atmosphere, Rhys and Vaughn were more than a little uncomfortable as the ride got bumpy, butts leaving the seats of Vasquez’s new car as they accelerated towards the planet's surface. Both men were silent during the descent, Rhys mostly just trying not to puke his brains out as he gripped onto the steering wheel. Space travel and him never got along.

The car was pitch black inside (And out. Vasquez didn't get the red car, after all.), the EDL box shell covering the surface area of the car completely to allow for safe entry. However, as they got closer and closer to the ground, a projection popped up on the front windshield, illuminating the interior of the car in a soft pale blue. 

“Landing in ten, nine, eight..” A robotic female voice counted down and Rhys prepared the engine. He revved it up, foot on the gas to get the tires rolling, though the car's frame was suspended in the EDL. 

“...Five, four, three...” The voice counted down. Rhys tightened his grip on the wheel with his left hand while his robotic right latched onto the gear shift.

“..Two, one.” 

As they hit the ground, the display turned off and the car ricochet off the ground. In a moment, the EDL casing fell apart, the metal tumbling away from the exterior of the vehicle. Rhys instantly put the car into drive as the spinning tires made contact with the ground.

The light was almost blinding; too sharp a contrast going from the pitch black of travel to the bright afternoon sun on Pandora. Rhys and Vaughn both flinched against the bright light for a few moments, letting their eyes adjust as the car sped on. 

“Hoooly shit. We’re actually doing this.” Vaughn laughed, looking out the window. 

Rhys laughed, though it was mostly nerves. 

There was so much that could go wrong. And yet..Rhys wasn't scared so much as excited. He had never done anything this crazy before.

“Yeah. We are.”


	3. Zer0 Sum: Continued

Speeding through the Pandorian plain was less than eventful at first. The radio blared loud while both men horribly tried to sing along, excitement getting the better of them and it was an outlet for all their nervous energy. Being on Pandora was enough of a stimulant without having planned a major heist and stealing from Hyperion. That was just an added bonus and Rhys couldn’t tell if he was more scared than excited or the other way around. Either way, he was going to make the best of it. 

The way was mostly barren, open sandy terrain with lots of rocky structures and the roads were fairly badly paved, if in some places not paved at all. Rather unsurprising for where they were, to be frank. More than once they passed a skeleton of something large enough to swallow an entire Loader-Bot whole had the thing been alive. Rather unsettling, though not the only troubling thing to be found out here by far. There were several rakk’s flying above but they were too far off to be considered a threat. No sign of any bandits yet, though Rhys was next to positive that they wouldn’t be getting through this charade without running into at least a dozen of them. 

Rhys drove rather fast, not sure how much time they had left until Vasquez himself came down, the car’s GPS chiming in with directions occasionally as they winded down the plain. As they were nearing the town that August was supposedly waiting at, Rhys slowed the car down slightly as they came across the body of a psycho hanging from a billboard. The pair looked at eachother, unnerved and kept driving.

 

“Oh, man.” Vaughn spoke up after a while, rolling his window down and setting his arm on the door frame as the wind blew in his face. His other wrist was handcuffed to a heavy-duty suitcase with the money in it. “It’s hard to believe we’re down here after so many years of staring at this place through a window.” His friend beamed. “Isn’t it exciting?”

Rhys took his attention off of the road. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.” he agreed, nodding. Rhys turned his attention back to the road just in time to see the hood of the car connect with something alive, bouncing under the tires and Rhys slammed on the brakes, skidding for several yards before screeching to a sudden stop 

“What the HELL was that?” Vaughn Panicked. 

“Oooh my god I hope that wasn’t just a really ugly dude.” Rhys fretted under his breath, turning around in his seat to look out the back window. The almost unrecognisable decapitated carcass of a skag lay crumpled on the road in a pool of gore, bloody tire tracks leading for a few feet. He breathed a sigh of relief as Vaughn continued his worried babble. 

“W-whoah god I’ve never killed anyone before. Oh my god. I mean I didn't kill the guy but I’m a conspirator-”

“Relax, Vaughn. It was just a skag.” Rhys assured, pulling the car back onto the path. He didn't seem too relieved though he showed less physical discomfort.

“Still, don’t you think that’s a little...sad?” Vaughn questioned, obviously still upset. 

“I mean, kinda. Those things breed like hostile rabbits down here.” Rhys stated bluntly. “If we didn’t kill it and if we were out of this car you’d be damn sure it would have tried to kill us.” Rhys honestly didn't feel too bad. Sure it was unfortunate but at least the thing died quickly at the speed they were going. 

“I suppose.” His friend relented, looking behind them as the corpse slowly went out of view.

Before long after, They arrived in a bandit town. As expected, it was fairly Run-down and shady as they come. Paint peeling off of buildings, structures half torn down. It made Rhys shudder as they passed. Many bandits were milling about, a bit too close to the car for Rhys’ liking but they all seemed to stay a safe enough distance away. The Helios hood ornament probably warranted enough of a pause for most bandits to think twice about crossing Hyperion directly. Most bandits. But defiantly not all of them, not by a long shot. 

“...Keep your eye out for the World of Curiosities.” Rhys told Vaughn, leaning over the steering wheel to check for names on the buildings. 

“Is that seriously the name of the tourist shop?” Vaughn questioned, looking at Rhys with a eyebrow raised. “Not the sort of name you’d expect down here.”

Rhys gave him a look. “What sort of name were you expecting, ‘Here lies the Vault Key’?” he mocked. 

Vaughn shook his head. “I mean it’s sort of a PC name for Pandora.” he corrected.

Rhys just rolled his eyes and tightened his grip on the wheel. 

Vaughn spoke up again after a few moments. 

“So, what do we say if someone asks about the money?” 

Rhys frowned. “What do you mean? We’re Hyperion, I think that's cause enough to have ten million dollars.” he justified, shrugging. “If they really insist I guess we can say its for a charity or something.”

Vaughn glared but said no more. 

The pair watched as Rhys slowly rolled through town, not seeing the building they were looking for yet. They passed a group of Bandits arguing and watched as it quickly escalated into a brawl, one of the men getting punched in the face hard. Rhys winced in sympathy as he momentarily remembered his own busted nose. Vaughn broke the silence first again. 

“Yikes. So this looks...not...good.” he commented, shuddering.

Rhys eyed him. 

“It’s Pandora. What did you expect?” he mumbled though he agreed with his friend. 

“I don't know I guess it just makes me more acutely aware of the fact that I have ten million dollars strapped to my wrist. You know, a part of the body that can be easily cut off?” Vaughn grumbled uneasily. 

With his robotic hand Rhys reached into the inside of his vest. Snugged in a inside loop was a metal handle to a baton. He pulled it out and took his eyes off the road to look at Vaughn for a moment. “I don’t want to be here any longer than we have to, either. Yvette gave me this before we left. It’s a stun baton.” He explained. 

Vaughn took it for a moment, inspecting the gadget but not expanding it past the handle before handing it back. 

“Oh, great. She gave you a stick. I feel so protected.”

“Ah, but it's a high-tech stick!”

“Wow. Technology HAS advanced!” Vaughn bantered back, and Rhys could tell by the tone of his voice that he wasn’t feeling any more safe than he had been a minute ago. He decided to just drop the topic of safety. Yvette could always call in a Loader, he supposed though he hoped they would not need it. 

“You know, if we bring this key back we’ll be the kings running the place for sure.” Vaughn stated, eyes still to the window. “...Key word being ‘if.’”

“Right. We’ll pop champagne and make a day of it.”  
Vaughn glared.

Rhys just laughed in good fun. “Oh come on, stop worrying so much. We have this thing in the bag.”

It took a moment but eventually Vaughn sighed, giving in on his worrying it seemed. “You’re right. I’m being stupid.” 

The pair eventually rolled into what looked to be a dead end, a few blocks from a building that went through the middle of the road. The GPS stopped giving directions, saying their destination was right where they were. Rhys stopped the car. 

“I don’t see it, do you?” He asked Vaughn who shook his head in response. 

Rhys sighed, frustrated and looked around. “Well, I guess we get out and ask around.”

Vaughn balked. “You can't be serious. How about YOU ask for directions and they guy with the money stays in the car? Hmm?” 

Rhys felt uneasy about going alone. He made a good point, though it wasn't inherently obvious that Vaughn was carrying around a case full of money. Rhys opened his door.

“C’mon, it’ll be an adventure.” he coaxed to Vaughn’s dismay. His short friend eventually joined him outside the car with a groan and a loud sigh. 

To their left was the side of one of the many run down buildings. About a block ahead was a old run down buss with the windows boarded and mostly picked clean for parts, and behind that was what looked to be the back entrance to a larger warehouse-looking building. To their right, however was a couple of bandits. Rhys led the way over to them. 

One of them, a rather ugly looking fellow, stood behind a barbecue frying what Rhys hoped was skag or rakk meat. Oh god, he prayed it wasn't human meat. Whatever it was, it smelled awful. The bandit kept his head down though he looked at them as they approached, Rhys walking a few feet ahead of Vaughn, who stood with his case-clad arm defensively behind himself. The other bandit lay face down on the ground, empty moonshine bottle in hand. He also smelled of piss. Strongly. 

“Hey, there.” Rhys called out to the man behind the barbecue as they approached. “You wouldn’t  
Happen to know where the um,” he looked at a scribbled note on his hand. “..World of Curiosities is?” 

The man continued to turn over the meat on the grill, Rhys would have thought he was ignoring them had it not been for the very intense eye contact they were making. 

‘“It should be around here..” Vaughn added. 

The man finally spoke, glaring. “You lost?” His voice was deep and sounded like someone put rocks in a blender. Rhys forced himself not to cringe. “What are you here for?” The man questioned further. 

Thinking quick, Rhys responded. “Just a simple business deal. Few papers to sign then we’re out of here. Easy” 

“Huh.” The gruff man responded, still turning all his meat as his gaze went from Rhys to vaughn. He nodded at the briefcase. 

“Those the papers?”

“Of a sort.”

The man stopped. “You’re Hyperion.” he stated, lowering the temp on the grill and pulling out a dull, rusty meat cleaver. If the blood on it was anything to go by, Rhys had almost wished that they knocked on the Port-A-Potty to ask whoever was inside for directions.  
Rhys’s blood ran cold as the man continued to speak. 

 

“You filthy blood-suckers ruined this town, you know that?” He stated, almost threateningly as he walked around the side of the grill. Scratch that, it was very threateningly. “Atlas were bastards but at least they had the good sense to go and fail. If you think i'm helping you then you’ve got another thing coming.” The man crossed his arms, meat cleaver still gripped tightly in hand.

So maybe coming to Pandora was a bad idea after all, it seemed.


End file.
